To answer the person who wanted to know why I don't post photos of myself:
Whenever I look at mt kids, or at photos of them I am always amazed by how gorgeous they are (I am admittedly biased here). Very little is more flattering to me than saying my daughter looks like me- my son is a spitting image of That Guy. I would love to post for you a photo of myself with my daughter to show you that Audrey and I do have some very similar features. But I cannot. There are almost no photos of me after my wedding day over six years ago, and next to none of me with my daughter. There has not been a willing photograph taken of me in over a year.
If anyone ever points out that I am absent from all "family" photos, or when my mother requests a photo with me in it, I always laugh it off. "Haha, I'm a mom," I say, "I'm always the one making sure the photo gets taken by being behind the camera". And although there is a nugget of truth to that, its not really the whole truth. Its really not an over sight that only a photo of the kids is included in our Christmas cards, or that even in my Google Plus profile photo you cannot see anything but my face.
I have an embarrassing confession, gentle readers. I'm fat. oh, medically I am still in the range of "healthy body weight",(barely) but its still true. My clothes don't fit nicely and I am awkward and uncomfortable in my skin. I can pretend that its for budget reasons that I dont buy clothes, but its because a fitting room can bring tears to my eyes and Id rather avoid the whole experience.
Both being fat and hating it are things that need to stop. I read stories of women who learn to embrace themselves for all their perceived flaws and how empowering it is. I know full well how damaging my self issues can become to both my children and the children I care for professionally. I am inspired equally by stories of physical body transformations as by stories of personal transformation through self love.
My children are too bright, too sweet for me to allow them to become side tracked or overwhelmed by body issues. I need to teach them to appreciate their bodies and care for them with respect.
I get all revved up, don my running shoes and hit the pavement. It all goes great until I see a woman one third my size zoom past me. I am not her, I cannot be her. Compared to her I must look downright comical thundering down the sidewalk. The embarrassment creeps up, my cheeks flush and I slink home doing my best to be invisible along the way. I have avoided getting together with friends I haven't seen in a while. I know they will talk after about how much weight I have gained. But I'm also worried that my gaining weight might cloud them against seeing what else I have gained....a family, precious friends, my businesses, a bit of wisdom.
So, in conclusion, there are no photos of me because my double chin is hidden behind the keyboard and people hear me better when their minds are not shouting "wow! she really let herself go!" One day I am going to have the courage and strength of character to let that woman run past me and not have it affect me. But until I can get there, I am still here without a photo.