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Wednesday, 16 July 2014

An open letter about your negativity

Dear You,
Yes, you. This is not a letter to my gentle readers. This is a letter to you- you whom have come at me with your negativity, entitlement and demands. I want to begin by pointing out the obvious. I refer to my gentle readers in almost every single one of my 130 posts; if you find yourself utterly unable to read my blog with a gentle heart then perhaps it simply is not the blog for you.

This letter is, of course, in response to the negativity you feel compelled to vandalize my comment section with.
"What's your excuse this time for not posting in almost a month? -.- Sick of checking this page every single day just to see that you haven't updated it!"

My "excuse"? I have none.  Why? Because, flat out, I do not need one. Let me be clear as day here, I do not owe you, or anyone, a blog post. Moreover, I certainly do not owe you anything on your schedule.
When you feel as though you cannot continue happily in your life without my frugal input, I offer to you a solution that would solve your negativity here. Sign up to follow my blog.  :) Once done each new blog post will be sent directly to your email inbox.  You wont risk missing a post and you wont have the dire inconvenience of "checking this page every single day"

I admit, I am being less than gracious. In my defense, though, I have already been gracious. When these comments appeared on a previous blog post 30 Pearls of Wisdom for my Daughter I responded with all the grace I could muster. I am guessing you were the previous negative comment poster, but, alas, I cannot be sure. The safety of an Anonymous posting leaves me just shy of 100% certain.

There was, as I am sure you noticed, a reply to your comment. One that agrees with you.
"I whole-heartedly agree with you...not even an update to say hey something is going on in my life so I wont be posting for a while--we're all just left hanging..."

So here's the thing, you. Thing is, this is MY blog. Which means when *I* started it I did so with a pretty specific vision. My vision was of a blog where I could project fun, positive outlook, humour and cost savings to the world. There are enough critics, skeptics, and theorists out there. I wanted my writing to be an exercise of personal reflection of all the good going on in my world. Then I wanted to turn personal reflection into light hearted writing.
*I* had decided that my blog would not be a place for me to discuss my personal struggle with heart crushing depression. This would not be a forum onto which I retold of all the medical ails that have alarmed me and puzzled my doctor. This would not be the avenue on which I vent about the trials and exhaustion of holding down three jobs (one full time, two part time), or That Guy also working three jobs (one full time, two part time), balancing my marriage,  two young children, home school, t ball, cooking classes, bible study and volunteer works.

That doesn't mean those things are not happening, because, in fact, every single one of them is.  It means I write with the hope that my gentle readers will understand that blogging is but one facet of my life.  That the very state of depression like mine means that sometimes just the thought of completing a DIY activity is overwhelming, let alone completing it documenting it and blogging about it.  It means that expecting an update for why I'm not blogging is far outside the realm of reasonable.

Of course, if I am to be fair to you (a courtesy you have not extended to me) I must acknowledge that you did not know any of this. You had no way of knowing.  But, you see, that was by design.

So, you, while I thank you for reading Full Time Frugal I hope this post prompts some genuine self reflection and encourages you to step into a lighter, brighter future- free from the tangles of entitlement.

From: Me


  1. Well said Rylan!

  2. Rylan, please try not to take what was said by a couple of calloused individuals to heart. This is your blog hence you post when you see fit to post and if you are dealing with some pretty heavy family stuff (as you have been) then so be it!

    Take care my dear <3

  3. Well said! I love having a moment when my little one is down for a nap and checking in with you! To be honest... it's even more exciting when there hasn't been a post for a few days, to see a new one waiting for me! Keep on doing what you're doing! Your blog is a breath of fresh air, in a sometimes negative life!

  4. Hi there, I stumbled upon this because my daughter's name is Rylan! I then noticed the unfortunate experience you recently had with one of your readers! Honestly its unbelievable and rather sad that someone's life is clearly not very fulfilling so in turn they are essentially blaming you for not updating your blog?! I commend your response and all the time you put into your lovely work and wonderful ideas!

    1. How neat that your daughters name is Rylan! There were certainly no other Rylans when I was a kid, I would have loved it if there were. :)