30 Pearls of Wisdom for My Daughter

I became aware of this blog through social media, 60 Little Tips That Can Change A Girls Life. "Wow, change a life, this is going to be powerful stuff" I thought as I started reading it. And although I think it makes some good points (make your own coffee and tea, eat breakfast, take bubble baths) they certainly did not change my life.  But my real issue with this blog was that it suggested itself to be a guide on how to be a woman. And in that I found it very lacking.  As the mother of a tiny, intelligent, fierce woman-to-be (she is just two years old) I wouldn't want my daughter to see a blog like this and assume that's all there was to being a woman -boob tape, white nail polish and the life changing powers of accessories.

So I thought I would pen my own version. Still fun, like the original, but with a better grasp on the idea that women can be more than skin deep.

30 Pearls of Wisdom For My Daughter

My daughter

1. Learn to read music. Math and music are international languages.
2. Yes you can use power tools. Go on, try it. It's fun!
3. Take advantage of as many learning opportunities as you can. Learning is neither beneath you nor beyond      you.
4. Have at least one specialty you can make in the kitchen to impress a guest.  (I'm a kitchen disaster but can     make an awesome soft pretzel.)
5. A businesses deal can be made or ruined by the quality of a handshake.  Be strong and confident - in             handshakes and in business.
6. You teach people how to treat you. Own that responsibility.
7. Read the book before you see the movie.
8. Have faith. In God, in science, in people, in love. In any of those or in all of them, just have faith.
9. Stretch. Your body, your mind. It's good for you.
10. Save your money.
11. Spend some money on fun things.
12. Buy things second hand. The minute you open a new item it becomes used anyway.
13. Get the very best sheets you can afford. No one has ever regretted a great nights sleep.
14. Dress in a way that ensures I cannot see your undergarments or their straps. This is not about sexuality            its about care. Wear all the short shorts and tank tops that make you feel comfortable and happy, but             spend time on yourself planning the best undergarments (strapless bra?) for your outfit. Dressing with             care makes a statement that you care about you and others should too.
15. Entitlement is one of the least attractive character qualities.
16. Don't spit in public. It's gross- plain and simple.
17. Always have at least one house plant. If nothing else it's good for the heart to care for another living               thing.
18. Remember grammar.  It's not hard. You didn't "seen" an item on sale last week, you "saw" it.  When             using "your", first ask yourself "could I say YOU ARE and have the statement remain relevant?" If yes,           use "you're" instead.
19.  Allow love to happen.
20. Once it does, once someone is in that special place in your heart guard that place.  Let no one else into          that space.   More than any one thing that's the secret to a happy, lasting love.
21. Change your own oil, cut your own grass and make your own lunch.  Yes, you can.
22.  Don't say "I don't have time for that".  You have EXACTLY as much time every day as someone who          does "that".  Choosing to use your time differently is perfectly appropriate, but saying you don't have              time to do what someone else does suggests that how you spend your hours is some how superior. It is        not. It's simply different.
23. "This sucks" and  "That blows" are not wise uses of your words. Take a second to think about the                  suggestion being made of what is being sucked or blown.  Now you can understand why it doesn't                show you in the best light to be overheard saying that in a work place, for example.
24.  If someone comes to pick you up, have them come to the door to get you. You are worth that much              effort.
25. When hosting a dinner party, allow guests to bring something. Bread, salad or a special condiment are           great options.
26. Likewise, when arriving at a dinner party do not do so empty handed. A small hostess gift is always               appreciated and does not have to be expensive.
27. Should you get married, do not give charitable donations at guest favours. That is not true charity.                 "Thanks for all the gifts guys, as a show of thanks I gave the money I would have spent to honour you on       something else.  But thanks again for getting me all those nice things"- see what I mean? True charity is           "We are so grateful you all came out to celebrate this day with us.  We have what we need.  Instead of         gifts for us please feel free to donate to a charity.  Your small guest favours to thank you for coming are        on the table in front of you. Enjoy!" Giving away someone else's gift is not charity.
28. Give grace. Forgive yourself.  Forgive others. Forgive with a whole and ready heart. Allow yourself and       others the space to make some mistakes free of judgement or condemnation.
29. Smile.  A lot. Its costs nothing, takes no time and you cannot know what it might mean to the person you       are smiling at.
30. Be kind.  To cashiers who do their jobs perfectly (even though you don't notice when they do) and to the      ones that accidentally short change you.  To the staff  at the drive through restaurant who got your order        wrong.  To the guy on the phone when you call to complain about your wireless bill. To the waiter and          the airline stewardess and the nurse. Be kind to your teachers, and the postal workers and police officers.      Be kind to your friends.  Kindness isn't about being a doormat.   But speak gently, use words thoughtfully      and give them grace.  It's that simple.